Well, that buzz is gone. The evaluations came in today, and killed what was left of it. Reality had pretty much already done the job by then, though.
I am at a point where I am reevaluating a lot of things in my life, and this blog is one of them. I have found myself censoring my posts more and more, especially after publicly speaking on university web issues. The goal of this site was always to be a personal expression for all aspects of myself, even the parts that aren’t so pretty and aren’t geared toward finding myself future work and opportunities. However, as soon as I started getting work and opportunities from it, the personal expression started getting stifled. Now it all feels false. Cameron Moll even killed my tagline (“Where redesign is the the new black”)— now it has a built in reminder that I am good but not great. Actually, maybe that’s the part that isn’t false.
I have considered pulling an Oxton, or moving the personal stuff to another site. That is a false dichotomy, though, and I will end up with two sites that I neglect instead of just one. So I don’t know what will happen.
Luckily, my little sister has the good sense to be getting married a week from today, and to be doing so on the Big Island of Hawaii. This gives me a legitimate excuse to go spend a week in a 5-star hotel in a tropical paradise and drown my sorrows in coconut and rum-filled drinks. There will also be a fancy dress involved at one point, and as always, some kick-ass shoes. Life could be worse.
I will not be blogging from Hawaii, but I won’t be leaving my brand new powerbook home all by itself, either. If you’re interested, you’ll probably be able to keep up with my shenanigans on Flickr.